646f9e108c A detective comes to the aid of an aged diamond cutter. As far as I am concern this must be one of the worst film I ever saw. For instance the directing, editing and camera work really got on my nerve. I was constantly under the impression of watching a very annoying music video-clip. I wasn't impressed by the performances either, especially Chuck Norris who reminds us that he just can't act and when he tries, it's more laughable than anything else. Even Bernie Kopell's acting job is left to be desired. Some people might ask what was I expecting from a direct-to-video Chuck Norris flick. The answer to this is "not much" and even then I was seriously irritated by this movie. I mean come on even Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagall are smart enough to stay away from delivering bad one liner anymore. And when they do, they are definitively more convincing than our friend Chuck.<br/><br/>The only good thing that I can say about this film is that it's entertaining. Never for the good reasons, but entertaining none-the-less. Especially if you are among friends and drunk. Pacino, DeNiro, Olivier, Shattner, these are the gods of today's Acting Pantheon. To that august list one may now add the name….NORRIS!!! Chuck blows away all previous concepts of what it means to be an actor. Seriously I never felt as "inside" another character as I have for Chuck's character, Junior Detective Tiffany Neversmile.<br/><br/>Tiffany, as portrayed by Mr. Norris, is a high school teen-aged Goth girl with an interest in criminal justice and who is studying a Mail-Order course in circumcison in order to become the world's first Mail-order mohel, and a goil mohel at that .She gets involved in the typical teen-age diamond smuggling scenario, and through her partnership with Detective Inspector/Asst. Bowling Coach Shlomoe "The Tranny Granny" Running Bear, not only brings the smugglers to justice, but also triumphs over her own pain, depression and fashion shortcomings.<br/><br/>To make it easy for you, this film is a sort of synthesis of films like Mean Girls, The Hot Chick, Ghost World and Requiem for a Dream, with an added liberal dose of martial arts, transvestitism, Deth Metal and marionettes. The soundtrack and score are a wonderful collaboration between Faith Hill and Goblin.<br/><br/>But it's Norris' performance as high-school Goth girl Tiffany Neversmile that elevates this far above the level of the usual teen-age melodrama. His legs, skinny, bird-like and thankfully shaven, promote the illusion that Chuck Norris is a little girl. Chuck keeps the beard for the role and I think it only helps, since Norris as a woman possesses an unearthly beauty and the whiskers help to ground it. If you've ever wanted to see Chuck Norris in a vinyl Gothic mini-dress, this film is for you.<br/><br/>The Academy shouldn't just give Mr. Norris a retro-Oscar for his work in this movie; they should shave him, grind off his privates and cover him in gold plating.
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